


Meet Cutes

by Lilspaceking



Category: Captain Underpants Series - Dav Pilkey
Genre: F/F, F/M, How Do I Tag, Lisa needs more love tbh, Multi, One Shot, One Shot Collection, idk why i'm writing this, like just a bunch of ideas on how they might have met, meet cutes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-11-28 15:29:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11420883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilspaceking/pseuds/Lilspaceking
Summary: If you had told me a month ago that I'd desperately be writing Captain Underpants I probably would have... well, not been too surprised, I'm weird, but still. Anyway, this is literally just a bunch of ideas on how the kids might have met their future spouses. Will try and take suggestions.





	1. Coffee

George was in love.

Okay, so that was a bit of an exaggeration, but he was definitely in _like-like_. That's right, George Beard, the kid on the left with the tie and flat top, had a crush, a huge crush at that, on the barista at Starbucks.

He didn't even _l_ _ike_  coffee; the first time he went was only because Harol was constantly going. To be honest, he didn't get the appeal. It's not like the two ADHD kids needed more energy, but whatever.

However, when he went into the shop and noticed the pretty barista he figured one cup of Joe couldn't hurt. 

And even though George thought "this bean juice is gross," he still drank it. The entire cup. "Woah, woah, George you hate coffee, why the hell are you downing it now?" Harold asked.

"She drew a smiley face on my cup." George said wistfully.

So, every time Harold went to that same shop, George tagged along, ordered the same cup of Joe, and got the same cute smiley face drawn on his cup.

But today! Today was the day he was going to _talk_  to her. Hopefully.

"Harold, I can't, I can't do this Harol."

"What are you talking about? Of course, you can! You've been working yourself up all week!"

"I'm just too nervous man." He said looking inside the near empty Starbucks. They were standing outside in a spot where hopefully they wouldn't be spotted.

"What? Nervous? Okay, what could you possibly be nervous about?"

"What if she hates me?"

"She won't hate you."

"What if she thinks I'm a creep?"

"She won't think you're a creep."

"What if she thinks I'm not funny?"

"She won't oR I'LL FIGHT HER YOU'RE THE FUNNIEST PERSON I HAVE EVER MET."

"Please don't fight my future wife Harold."

"Future wife? Really?"

"Hey, a guy can dream."

"Well, then, go make those dreams, A REALITY!" Harold shouted before shoving him towards the door.

George paused for a moment before throwing his caution to the wind and entering.

Lisa. That was her name. He had overheard one of the other employees call her that. If he was being honest, he wasn't sure why he was so drawn to her. She was very attractive, but he had seen attractive girls before.

So, maybe it was all those cute smiley faces she drew. Each a little different. One with sunglasses. One with their tongue sticking out. It was cute.

But he thought that a big part of it was her laugh. She had a loud, deep belly laugh. It was endearing and he wanted to make her laugh like that, at least once.

These thoughts flashed in his head very quickly as he made his way to the cashier.

Lisa recognized him and smiled. "The usual?"

He swallowed, smiled nervously, and went for it. "Actually... I'm not who you think I am." He said dramatically.

"Uh, what?" She said confused.

"I'm a twin."

"Really." She said skeptically.

"Oh, yeah! Here, I'll show you." He said taking out his phone and showing her the home screen. It was a picture of him and Harold in the matching shirt and tie he always wore. 

He looked at her nervously as he gave her the phone hoping she would share the humor. And she did.

She looked at the picture and chuckled. "Haha. Cute. Are you guys even related?"

His smile widened. It was no deep belly laugh, but it was something. He regained some of his confidence. "Y'know, it's funny, I think that's what my dad said when we were born."

She laughed again. She. Laughed. _AGAIN!_ George was in Cloud 9.

"Hey, I think your, uh, 'twin' is waiting outside."

George looked at the window to see Harold with his face smashed against the glass.

"Oh, uh, yeah, don't worry about him. He's not allowed inside. Anyway, uh, I wanted to ask you about the, uh, smiley faces? You never drew them on Harold's."

"Oh, uh, I guess I just thought you were, um cute and uh funny so yeah." She said and it was her turn to be nervous.

George, on the other hand, was ecstatic. "You know, I don't even like coffee. I guess I only drank it because of you." And now they were both smiling and blushing and Harold was still watching them, but, uh, not in a creepy way.

The next thing Harold knew George was walking out coffee cup in hand with a grin a mile wide.

"Dude, dude!! She wrote her number on the cup!!" George said practically squealing and they did their classic Connect the Dots handshake. 

"Dude, can I be the best man at your wedding?"

"Of course Harol, you're my twin after all."

"Sweet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was that? Bad? Good? Send me a comment! If you have suggestions, I will gladly take them, but no promises because writing is hard. Also, the idea for this fanfiction comes from http://meetcuteprompts.tumblr.com/post/127350563127/248-the-meet-cute and memeberd.tumblr.com was nice enough to beta read this for me. The next chapter will be about Harold and Billy meeting in the coffee shop, although Billy won't be a barista.


	2. Coffee Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again.

Harold woke up that morning feeling like utter shit.

 

“George. Why did we stay up all night? It was soooo not worth it.” Harold stated groggily.

 

“Duuude, we finished like five comics, it was sooo worth it.” George said glancing at Harold before turning over in his blankets.

 

“I guess, man. I’m starving though. You want anything?”

 

“You know me Harol, potato chips and chocolate sauce sandwich.”:George said drowsily before drifting back off to sleep.

 

“Sure thing man. Wait a second,” Harold said looking around. “Why the hell don’t we have any coffee in the treehouse?” He asked. George just snored.

 

“uGH, sorry George, I’m making a coffee run.” Harold said before throwing on a jacket and some slippers. He climbed down their ladder and begin walking tiredly towards the nearest Starbucks.

 

It wasn’t until he had already placed an order that he realized that he didn’t bring any money.

 

“You can’t just put it on, like, store credit or something? I’ll pay for it later. Please, please!” Harold said all but getting on his hands and knees.

 

“Uh, sorry, dude, I think that’s against store policy.” said the confused, concerned, and probably underpaid barista.

 

Harold literally almost started crying before he felt a hand softly touch his shoulder. “Hey, dude, I’ll pay for you coffee, it’s not a big deal.” said the boy in line behind him.

 

Harold turned around to thank whoever it was and his heart almost stopped. _Shit, shit, shit, shit._ It was the cute kid from math class with the glasses and the tie like George and the teenage boy stubble on his cheeks. Harold could’ve screamed.

 

“Uh, thanks dude, that’s really cool of you dude.” Harold said _Oh my god why am I saying dude so many times ahhhh._

 

“Not a problem.” Billy said stepping up to the cashier.

 

Harold thought of a thousand things to say to him while he was ordering and paying, but for some reason as Billy finished paying all he said was, “Hey, you’re that kid from Math class that makes all the dumb jokes right?”

 

Luckily, Billy didn’t seem to think what Harold said was as stupid as Harold thought. He simply chuckled, a bit nervously, and said, “Heh, yeah, and you’re the kid with the, uh, crazy hair.”  

 

“Hey, wowwww, did you seriously just bash my hair man? I mean I thought you were a nice guy.”

 

“Uh, I am, but you called my jokes dumb first, so.” Billy said not quite looking Harold in the eye, “Seriously, it looks like you just rolled out of bed.”

 

“To be fair, I _did_  just roll out of bed.” And before Billy could ask any questions about that, their names were called by the Barista to come pick up their coffee.

 

As they grabbed their drinks they wordlessly sat down at the same table.

 

“At least I have an excuse for my hair, but I mean, your jokes are just awful.” Harold said taking a sip of his coffee.  

 

“They are not! Come on! Uh, why couldn’t the professor solve 2n+2n?” Billy asked eagerly.

 

“... Ugh, I don’t know why??” Harold asked.

 

“Because the answer was 4N to him! Get it? Foreign? 4N?” Billy smiled hopefully at Harold who couldn’t help but grin and let out a small chuckle. “See? Admit it, you do think they’re funny.”

 

“I will admit nothing!” Harold said mock dramatically.

 

“Okay, then you come up with a better joke.” Billy said taking a sip of his coffee.

 

“Uhhhh, I don’t know. I’m too tired. All I can think of are punchlines. Elvis Parsley. Robber ducky. Cock-a-poodle-doo.”

 

“What’s green and sings? Uh, Who stole the soap? And what do you get when you cross a chicken and a dog?” Billy listed barely pausing to think.

 

“It is slightly sad and slightly scary how easy that was for you.”

 

“You’re just jealous because you can’t come up with a pun.”

 

“Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, I got one! So, uh, my ma got me to try this like straightening conditioner thing, but I swear it’s a total scam because I’ve been using it for like a month, and _I am still gay._  Heh, get it?” Harold said before realizing that he just outed himself to his crush.

 

That thought, however, was quickly interrupted by Billy laughing. “That, that was pretty good Harold, not bad. Probably the first gay joke I’ve heard that wasn’t offensive.”

 

Harold then figured that if he had already outed himself, he might as well go the extra step. “Oh, yeah? Are you gay too, then?” He said being _very_  careful not to make eye contact.

 

“Oh, uh, yeah, yeah I am.” Billy replied. Harold looked up from his coffee cup and their eyes met and Harold swore he heard _Fly Me to the Moon_  playing in the background.

 

Before Harold could even fathom what to say next, Billy surprised him. “Hey, uh, can I, can I touch your hair?”

 

“S-sure Billy.”He said tilting his head slightly closer to the other boy who hesitantly reached out a hand and softly touched his hair before quickly drawing away.

 

“To be honest, I… I kinda like your crazy hair.”

 

“Well, I guess I have to admit, I kinda like your dumb jokes.” And now they were both blushing and smiling and all that gross stuff teenage boys do when they’re in love with each other.

 

“Hey, isn’t that your friend?” Billy asked, kinda interrupting the moment, as he pointed at the window where, sure enough, George’s face was smushed against the glass looking at them.

 

“Huh, I guess I kinda deserve that. Hey, Billy, thanks for the coffee man, seriously, and, uh, next time it’s on me, okay?” Harold said pulling out a pencil and a piece of paper out of his pockets to write down his number.

 

“Uh, sure Harold, sounds good.” Billy said taking the paper from Harold.   


“Alright. It’s a date, okay?” He said as he grabbed his coffee and begin walking out.

 

“Okay!” Billy replied smiling radiantly.

 

“Dude, where’ve you been?” George asked as they begin walking home.

 

“Bro, I think I just scored a date with my crush.”

 

“Damn, Harold, the weekend just started. You’ve been busy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you guys think? Please comment! :) Prompt came from http://meetcuteprompts.tumblr.com/post/100764360064/40-the-meet-cute and memeberd.tumblr.com beta-read and gave some suggestions for this chapter.


	3. Vending Machine

George was usually very in control and on top of things going on in his life. He liked to be organized and kept things in a, mostly, ordered fashion. He planned ahead and kept his eye on the ball. 

However, today, he dropped the ball.

He had had the absolute worst day possible. He had woken up late and had to rush to school, forgetting his homework, gym clothes, and breakfast. Both his first period and gym teacher had yelled at him for being forgetful, which was Unnecessary in his opinion and in the rest of his classes he had been yelled at for “acting out.” On top of all that, he had writer’s block, so he couldn’t even write comics with Harold at lunchtime.

Having his best friend around to try and cheer him up certainly helped, but he was still very much in a bad mood when after school that day, before walking home with Harold, he decided to get a snack from the vending machine.

“Hey man, wait here, I’m gonna go get some Doritos.” George said as they walked out the school building.

“Sure thing man.” Harold replied already looking at his phone as George walked away.

George made his way to the vending machine and just t when he thought his day couldn’t get any worse, it happened. He put his money in and pressed B4 for the Doritos and the silver rings began to turn and then they stopped without dropping the Doritos.

George proceeded to let out an inhuman scream of pure frustration as loud as he possibly could.

“Holy fuck dude” Said a voice from behind him. George turned around to find a girl from his school that e had seen in the hallways before. She had been on her walk home and was now staring at him as if he were crazy.

“Sorry.” George mumbled more than a little embarrassed turning back to the vending machine to decide whether or not to shake it and see if that worked.

To his surprise the girl didn't walk away and instead walked up to him to see what was going on.

“Oh, you got your Doritos stuck huh? Here, I'll get ‘em out.” She said taking off her backpack and pulling a dollar from it. George was surprised that this virtual stranger was helping him out, but he wasn't about to question it.

As the girl straightened out the bill she said, “Hey, you're the guy who makes all those comics right? About the dog cop?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Well, I write them anyway. I'm George. My friend Harold draws them.”

“He's the dude with the crazy hair right?” She said putting the dollar in. George nodded wordlessly as she examined the contents of the vending machine. “Well, I'm Lisa. So, I gotta know, what's gonna happen in the next issue George?” She said as she carefully selected the number of the snack directly above the Doritos. 

“Oh, well, I'm not sure yet. I kind of have writer's block.” George said with a sigh. The cinnamon bun dropped on top of the Doritos pushing them both into the slot below. 

“I'm sure you'll figure something out. You seem like a smart guy.” Lisa said grabbing the snacks. 

“Thanks.” He said slightly surprised by the compliment. Lisa smiled and handed him the Doritos. 

“So, I don't mean to seem nosy, but you were screaming like 2 minutes ago, so are you ok?” She opened her cinnamon bun and started eating. 

George honestly didn't even think before speaking. If he did, maybe he would have thought that sharing his feelings with some strange girl was kinda weird, but he didn't, so he said, “Ugh, everything single fucking thing has gone wrong today! I'm forgot everything, my teachers are constantly on my case, and I can't even come up with an idea for my comic! It's like, I'm trying to pretend I'm a functioning adult, but I'm not!” George said breathing heavily. 

“Woah. I just thought you really liked Doritos dude.” Lisa said in shock.

“Ugh, sorry.” George sighed putting his face in his hands.

“Hey, George, it's alright.” She said lightly patting his back, “Look, everyone has shitty days y'know? I mean, it will probably be better tomorrow. Like I said you seem like a smart guy and you're funny and a good writer and… uh, yeah.” Lisa trailed off looking slightly embarrassed.

George looked back to her and now they both looked slightly embarrassed and George felt his ears burning. His shyness got the better of him.

“Um, well, I gotta go Lisa. Harold's waiting for me. Thanks for the Doritos. And, well, and everything else. I'll pay you back. I promise.” He said before running off still blushing.

“Uh, see you later I guess?”

* * *

 

“Dude, what took you so long?” Harold asked when he finally saw George running up to him Doritos in hand.

“My Doritos got stuck and uh somebody was helping me get em out. Uh, Lisa? Maybe you've met her, she reads our comics.” George said as he and Harold started heading home. He opened his bag of chips and started munching them.

“Oh, yeah, I think so…. But, uh, were you the one screaming dude?” Harold asked stealing one of George's chips.

“Uh, well, I… Woah, wait a sec dude,” George said stopping in his tracks, “I just got an idea for the next comic book!” He laughed and tossed the Doritos to Harold. “Race you to the treehouse!” 

* * *

 

The next day when Lisa opened her locker, a comic book fell out. She picked it up and quickly recognized it as the next issue of Dog Man (is that what it's called???). She opened it to find something written on the inside cover in familiar handwriting.

_Lisa, I guess you inspired me, so hopefully this free comic book makes up for the Doritos yesterday._

Underneath that was a phone number.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I have to thank Memeberd for all their help!


End file.
